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My best songs/poems:
Your StoryI'd much rather cry for you
'Cause my story is too painful to share
I'd much rather smile for you
'Cause my story is too painful to bare
So come here and I'll wrap my arms around you
Come here and I'll let your story shine
But after you share your story
Please don't ask me about mine
If only I could play the violin
I'd share my past through sorrowful chords
Vibrato on strings would be my voice
Fighting my demons with imaginary swords
Although I'm limited to words on paper
And the words aren't sung by a beautiful voice
These words make my story into a song
And this song confronts you with a choice
You can close your eyes
And pretend this is a fairytale
Pretend it's a meaningless story
That was never once true
Or you can open your eyes
And realise deep down
That the story isn't just about me
That you're the main character too
If you don't want to tell your story
As it is, spoken word to word
Turn your art into your voice
And you will always be heard
A picture speaks a thousand words
Throw It AwayStop!
Put the blade down
Don't you think it's time for something new?
A new attitude, a new way of dealing with
The things they put you through
A new way to survive
A new way to pull you through
You may not see it now
But if you hold on
It always gets better somehow
So throw your self-destructive tool
Away and join the fight
We'll show those in pain
That there's always a light
And I know you think that no one's there
And I know you think that no one cares
But the things they said, they're not true
They're only trying to hurt you
If you go through with this
It'll only get worse
So just throw it away
So just throw the guilt away
All the anger, all the pain
All the fear and all the shame
Just throw it all away
On the edge
There's a girl stood looking down
And she's so far up
She can see the whole town
Little did she know
The very next day
They'd take back all the things they say
But now she'll never find out
Wait it out
Just wait and see
It will get better for b
A Letter To My BodyDear my body,
Here I bestow an official apology for all the things I put you through.
The spirits, substances and so-called foods that you are forced to consume and digest against your will.
For every last hormone-changing pill.
For every time I slide a razor across your tender skin to cut back hair again and again.
For every time I deprive you of sleep when you are already so deprived of energy. And then the days when I refuse to get out of bed and so you miss the sunlight.
I apologise for wanting to hurt you when I'm in need of emotional rehabilitation.
For biting the skin on your fingers when I'm nervous.
For previously feeding you the carcasses of once living beings even when deep down I felt it was wrong to do so.
I'm sorry for putting you in such danger of hearing damage - through all the times I listen to my iPod with the music blaring loudly through my earphones, and the times I spend at the front rows of concerts, the speakers so powerful I can feel the vibrations running thro
The CrowdThe crowd told me to wear a skirt
I wore my spiky shorts
The crowd told me "keep to yourself"
But I express my thoughts
The crowd told me to have blonde hair
I dyed it blue and pink
The crowd told me to watch TV
I chose instead to think
The crowd told me to like dubstep
I listen to The Cure
The crowd told me to drink cows' milk
But I don't see what for
The crowd told me to say I'm straight
But that's only half true
The crowd told me to have a baby
But I don't want to
Now the crowd are closing in
Calling me a freak
Now the crowd want me to conform
I'm too tongue-in-cheek
Now the crowd hate my differences
I don't think I care
Now the crowd are sick of me
And these strange clothes I wear
Now I'm looking for someone
That feels the same as me
Now I'm looking for someone
Who wants to feel more free
Now I'm looking for someone
Who's strange and kind and true
Now I'm looking for someone
But is that someone you?
Big vs SkinnyYou say that big is beautiful
That it's the new 'in thing'
You talk about how nice I'd look
If only I weren't thin
But will you come to realise
That it really isn't right
To say that we're not big enough
And take our name in spite?
You may have gotten insults
From some idiotic men
But when you call us skin and bones
You're just as bad as them
To say that big is beautiful
Is fine and true to say
To say that big is better
Is to think a hateful way
Nothing's better, nothing's 'right'
We're built to look unique
To say we're pretty, big and skinny
That's the peace I seek
It's easier to get along
When we're not starting fights
To see the wars of big vs skinny
Aren't such pretty sights
So lets find a happy medium
To stop this pointless hate
Let's have respect for everyone
No matter what their weight
And when we all abide by this
We'll see what happens then
A world full of less hate and fear
And more friendship again
100 things about me:
1) Right now I can't think of much to write about myself at all, but once I get started I probably won't be able to stop.
2) I have blue eyes with green around the pupil. However, in artificial light they tend to look bright green.
3) My skin is so pale it's ridiculous, but I like it. I personally prefer pale skin over fake tan.
4) I feel naked if I'm not wearing eyeliner.
5) I love a mixture of alternative clothing and will actually dare to wear them more dramatically when I can afford to. (Jobs are a very rare find here). This includes: cyberpunk, gothic, gothic lolita, neo-victorian, raver, bubblegoth and visual kei.
6) I fucking love 70's - 80's music and pretty much wish I was born a few decades earlier. A few artists include: The Cure, Adam & The Ants, Siouxsie And The Banshees, The Police, Depeche Mode, Soft Cell, Duran Duran, The Smiths and The Glove.
7) Although I mostly enjoy 70's - 80's music, I like a variety of different music. This includes: Emilie Autumn, Kerli, The Birthday Massacre, Empire Of The Sun, Metric, Angelspit, Muse, The Sleepy Jackson, Bjork, Thrice, Lana Del Rey, My Chemical Romance, Crispin Hellion Glover, Korn, Blue Foundation, Mindless Self Indulgence, Utada Hikaru, Radiohead, Placebo, System Of A Down, Nine Inch Nails, Molotov Jukebox, Olivia Lufkin, 2NE1, Girls Generation, Shiny Toy Guns, Rammstein, Horrorpops, Zombie Girl, Hurts, Hole and Michael Jackson. There are plenty more.
8) I also love going to see local bands. I suggest you check out Addictive Philosophy as well as Emperor Chung and CELL. Different genres but equally as awesome.
9) I have the weirdest dreams ever. I like to write down the ones I remember, then read them back later and think "the fuck is wrong with me?".
10) I particularly like Asian cinema. The Korean and Japanese films that I've seen just seem more clever and thought provoking than a lot of western films. Some films include: Oldboy, Lady Vengeance, Sympathy For Mr Vengeance, Love Exposure, Memories Of Matsuko, Thirst and I'm A Cyborg. My favourite director is Park Chan-wook.
11) I love horror and thriller films apart from the ones with half naked models randomly getting chopped up for no particular reason. Psychological horror is my favourite.
12) I'm 5"10 and wish I was smaller.
13) I'm naturally thin and wish I was bigger.
14) I'm bisexual.
15) I've dyed my hair a variety of crazy colours in the past and miss having my hair like that. Unfortunately I can't dye it if I want a job.
16) It's 3:29 AM and I should probably get some sleep.
17) I can only write decent poetry/songs when it's late at night.
18) I'm atheist.
19) I'm vegetarian, and contrary to popular belief I get more preaching from meat-eaters than I give.
20) I talk posh although I'm not posh.
21) Apparently I have a Canadian accent, even though I've never been to Canada and don't know any Canadians.
22) I want to study psychology at university and go on to get a career in either therapy or forensic psychology.
23) I'm a huge fan of Derren Brown, and I'm going to see him in May. Woooo!
24) I like anime & manga. This includes: Nana, Studio Ghibli films, Death Note, Fruits Basket and some more which I can't remember the names of
25) I'm a big fan of Robert Smith. I could write a huge soppy fangirl paragraph but I'll restrain myself. Though I do love his hair.
26) I'm English and a small part French-Canadian.
27) Some TV shows I like are: Derren Brown shows, Sherlock, The IT Crowd, Merlin, The Inbetweeners, House, Blackadder, Peep Show, Family Guy, Modern Family, Spaced, Futurama and South Park.
28) I write music - the lyrics and the instrument parts. I'm currently producing some songs on a program called Ableton.
29) I sing, play bass, guitar, piano and violin. And I can play the song Concerning Hobbits (Lord Of The Rings) on the tin whistle
30) I write stories.
31) I bite my fingers too much, especially when I'm nervous.
32) I'm single. Just got dumped >_<
33) I think I'm mentally mature for my age. I get along a lot better with older friends.
34) I play around and experiment with makeup when I'm bored.
35) I'm the quiet, thoughtful type.
36) I have a lot of pets. A dog, a snake, a rabbit, a guinea pig, two rats and a lot of cats.
37) I love photography. Many times I find myself thinking "damn, I wish I could take a picture of that" when I'm out and about.
38) I like british comedy; Lee Evans, Michael Mcintyre, Russell Howard, Blackadder, Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz etc.
39) I'm very open minded.
40) My favourite animal is the white tiger. A close second is the wolf.
41) I don't drink much, but when I do I end up dancing on club stages and almost falling off.
42) I am Sherlocked.
43) Most of the celebrities that I crush on are twice my age. Should I be concerned? I mean, they're celebrities so maybe it's okay. Hmm.
44) STAAAAND AND DELIVEEERRR OI OI
45) My nose is quite small but in most pictures it looks big and I don't know why and it pisses me off.
46) I've recieved some pretty interesting insults e.g. being called a chinese pornstar (I don't know why that is offensive but she intended it to be) and Gollum with clothes.
47) I'm so weird I take the word 'weird' as a compliment.
48) I'd love to go out one day wearing Adam Ant makeup but am yet to find a good excuse as to why.
49) I'd love to go to Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Iceland, Egypt and Africa one day.
50) I have a lip piercing and ear piercings. A 5mm stretcher in my left ear and a 2mm plug in my right ear. For some reason my right ear doesn't stretch any further without going all weird.
51) Some of my favourite films are: Fight Club, Lady Vengeance, V For Vendetta, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sweeney Todd, Willard, Saw and Hot Fuzz.
52) I miss being on stage but at the same time I have stage fright. Bit of a conundrum there.
53) I really want a pet tarantula, a bearded dragon and a husky.
54) I love Urban Decay makeup and rarely ever use another brand.
55) I rarely ever get properly angry but when I am I've been told that I'm scary.
56) Ever since I got dumped I tend to get teary eyed at movies a lot easier. I don't mean as in 'oh look a happy couple I'm so lonely sob sob', more like 'oh look, the sky is so pretty, that's so happy sob sob'. It's really weird and annoying.
57) I love Tim Burton films 'cause I'm a massive goth on the inside.
58) The ancient Egyptians fascinate me e.g. the gods, history, medicine and all the beautiful Egyptian decor.
59) Mental asylums also fascinate me. I think Emilie Autumn's album 'Fight Like A Girl' is partly responsible for that.
60) I love a cup of weak tea 'cause I'm a pansy.
61) I don't like warm coffee but I love chilled coffee.
62) I love vampires. The Anne Rice kind, not the Twilight kind.
63) I'm nocturnal.
64) I have weird teeth - my canines stick out which makes me look a bit like a vampire. I'm self conscious about it so I always have my mouth closed in pictures. That and the fact that I look mental when I smile.
65) I like belly dancing as well as workout DVDs - they're good for venting.
66) I love the Lush shop and smelling everything in there makes me hungry.
67) I love Victorian clothes. They're hot.
68) My room is pretty much half gothic and half zen pad - it varies from my autograph of Dr Gordon from Saw and my Nightmare Before Christmas musical jewelry box to my Inspired Earth Indian tapestry and my many, many candles.
69) I have a dirty mind.
70) Moulin Rouge makes me cry every time I watch it.
71) I'm addicted to Holland and Barrett's vegan sausage rolls and gourmet jelly beans, as well as pringles. Oh, and mint imperials.
72) I've done a few amateur photo shoots and would like to do more photo shoots in the future. (With me modelling).
73) I want a tattoo and a helix piercing.
74) As of today (2nd May) I'm 18! Woo!
75) I've had the song 'Antmusic' stuck in my head for about 5 days now.
76) I temporarily obsess over certain things like bands, then in time move on to something else.
77) I think baby rhinos are freaking adorable.
78) I love playing with fire, literally. Just stuff like watching paper burn, nothing too pyromaniac.
79) I have an extreme phobia of needles. It all started when some bitch of a nurse got someone to pin me down and give me an injection when I was little.
80) I also have a fear of heights, bees, wasps and clowns. When I'm at a high distance I always have the stupid urge to throw myself off so I obviously try to avoid that. Whenever I hear a buzz sound near me I pretty much have a heart attack and do a retarded little spasm thing where I freak out and try to run away from the bee/wasp. (It usually ends up being a fly). As for clowns, I'm generally just terrified of them. I remember going to the circus when I was little and freaking out over this clown that was close to the audience. The clown jack-in-a-box thing from Harry Potter scares the shit out of me (where they're learning the 'ridiculous' spell or however you'd spell it).
81) My favourite colour is light blue.
82) Whenever I'm scared of something silly like turning the light off after watching a scary movie, I pretend that I'm some sort of vampirey-monster thing that could defend myself from any ghost or anything that would attack me. It's fucking stupid, I realise that, but it helps a lot. If your imagination can create monsters then you might as well use the same tool to defend yourself against them.
83) I'm absolutely terrified of the film 'The Ring'. I've only seen the American version - I daren't watch the original Japanese film. Just simply talking about it now makes me get all creeped out and on edge.
84) I've never tried a macaroon and really want to try them.
85) A lot of the time I have dreams where my lip piercing has fallen out and I wake up thinking "shit where is it??". It's never actually fallen out though.
86) I've seen The Hobbit twice in the cinema and it's amazing.
87) I've never smoked a cigarette and don't plan to.
88) I plan to dye my hair rainbow some day.
89) Shaun Of The Dead scares me more than 28 Days Later and Resident Evil combined.
90) It's getting rather obvious now that I'm running out of things to write about myself.
91) I'd love to do photo shoots with people (with me behind the camera) but am yet to find any willing models that live nearby.
92) I love the ska-punk music genre.
93) I hate third-wave ska.
94) I love parma violet milkshake. It's the best milkshake ever.
95) My two rats are called Moriarty (from Sherlock) and Binky (from Terry Pratchett books).
96) I looooove jelly.
97) I love having short, spiky hair.
98) I love English accents apart from my own.
99) I love the rain, especially when I'm inside and I can watch it. It's even better when you're in a car or a tent 'cause it's easier to listen to as well.
100) I'm surprised you've actually read this far. Congratulations, either you're really bored or I'm really interesting. Or you've skipped through a few to get this far. You sneaky bastard, you.
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