Dear my body,
Here I bestow an official apology for all the things I put you through.
The spirits, substances and so-called foods that you are forced to consume and digest against your will.
For every last hormone-changing pill.
For every time I slide a razor across your tender skin to cut back hair again and again.
For every time I deprive you of sleep when you are already so deprived of energy. And then the days when I refuse to get out of bed and so you miss the sunlight.
I apologise for wanting to hurt you when I'm in need of emotional rehabilitation.
For biting the skin on your fingers when I'm nervous.
For previously feeding you the carcasses of once living beings even when deep down I felt it was wrong to do so.
I'm sorry for putting you in such danger of hearing damage - through all the times I listen to my iPod with the music blaring loudly through my earphones, and the times I spend at the front rows of concerts, the speakers so powerful I can feel the vibrations running through my feet.
I'm sorry for allowing a certain enemy to hold you so tightly, eventually causing much emotional damage and then resulting in physical deterioration.
I'm sorry for denying you of food when I'm upset, then feeding you too much of the wrong thing soon afterwards.
I'm sorry for hating most of you, even when I'm told that I should be grateful for you.
I'm sorry for drying out your hair with bleach because I hate your natural colour.
I'm sorry for making your eyes sore from using makeup and then rubbing it off aggressively at night.
I'm sorry for rubbing your feet raw from breaking in a new pair of shoes.
I'm sorry for constantly giving you papercuts from studying.
I'm sorry for constantly cursing your eyes because they are not even and your teeth because they are not straight.
But now I know that although you are not perfect, you are brilliant.
Brilliant for fighting off diseases, healing cuts and grazes and digesting food whilst I am busy hating how you look.
You are brilliant for keeping strong and surviving through physical danger and emotional distress.
Because how I looked wasn't important when I was in that car crash.
And how I looked wasn't important when I was exposed to those dangerous chemicals a few hours ago. Whilst I was running downtown to check that my parents weren't involved in that explosion, I finally realised that I take my own body for granted. If I was on that one road a few hours ago, my appearance wouldn't have mattered because I would have ceased to exist.
I take my body for granted and I wish that my body was different, but it is everything that I need. So I'll try my best to keep you healthy, and I'll try my best not to obsess over any minor imperfections that I am usually so eager to criticize.
I love you, body.
You are strong, you are brilliant and you are finally appreciated.